Thursday, January 31, 2008

An unfortunate side effect

I think it is an unfortunate side effect of being a stay at home mom that my self worth is directly connected to the amount of house work i get done in a day. I was just mopping my kitchen floor, something that has needed to be done for at least a week, and i was contemplating wether, by doing this chore that i don't really care for, I would be left with a sense of satisfaction. And strangely enough i don't really feel satisfied. Sitting on the couch and reading a novel probably gives me more satisfaction. But then the house is a mess and i feel guilty for not doing anything about it. My husband rarely gives me a hard time for the condition of the house so he isn't the one making me feel unworthy and the kids don't care if the house is clean or not.... I guess i kind of miss the days where i would go to work and have some one say 'Decorate this many cakes today'. It is so straight forward. I have made an attempt to create this sort of system for my housework but not having to answer to anyone kind of makes it feel pointless.

If anyone has any solutions for this, please share.

4 comments:

Sheyenne said...

I don't really have any solutions. I feel awesome if I actually mop my floor! Most of the time my floor is crunchy.
But, if you're looking for some type of routine, have you looked at flylady.com? I don't follow her routine but it gave me a good start for a plan on what to do on which days.

Gretchen said...

I have the same problem and no good solutions. School was my thing. Sometimes when M comes home I tell him what loathsome housekeeping tasking I accomplished that day and then plead, "Grade me, GRADE ME!" (Ever seen that episode of Simpsons?) No matter what M just flatly refuses to give me grades even though I KNOW it would motivate me immensely. I suppose it might be a little tacky to let him. And grading myself just doesn't have the same effect.

Robin said...

Gretchen, my husband just gave me an F on the housework. Are you happy now? :) He was actually looking at his pig-sty of an office, so I say to him, "This F is for you, buddy!" LOL

Hate me if you will, but I really, truly, honestly love being able to stay at home, even if I have to mop floors, clean toilets, take care of sick kids...whatever. Of course, I admit that I can moan and groan about that stuff with the best of them, and many days I feel a lot more tired than I did working 40 hours a week and spending 10 hours a week commuting. To me, it is a freedom I enjoy to not have to justify myself to anyone else or to have to save up time to spend with my kids or to take a vacation or to be sick. Even my worst days at home don't make me wish I could trade places and go back.

Robin said...

I forgot to add that the "solution" that works for me then is to remind myself why I love being at home even if it seems like nobody else cares what I do all day. Of course, if you've ever worked for a micromanager, that makes it a whole lot easier to appreciate nobody else caring what you do.